


Mercury

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 16:26:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6813091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve let out a rush of air like a balloon deflated. ‘Buck, you’re safe.’<br/>‘I was supposed to be safe – well, secure – in that giant glass box. You saw how that went.’</p><p>It ain't fully Stucky, but it's there.<br/>Mid-credit scene feelings. I personally loved the scene, but feel like it needed more - so, this is more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mercury

‘How advanced is the technology in your lab?’

It was dark on the jet that T’Challa had chartered for Steve and Bucky. The latter had been in and out of consciousness for hours, torn between spurts of red hot pain in his shoulder, as the exposed wiring tapped on his nervous system like an eager bird, and fitful dozing. Steve looked up from where he’d been staring at his hands, eyes just starting to droop.

T’Challa looked at Bucky inquisitively.

‘Why do you want to know?’

Bucky held eye contact with him for a moment, pleading, before flitting to stare out of the window at the black sky outside.

‘Well, we don’t operate at Tony Stark’s level, but our vibranium reserves have allowed us to experiment somewhat. We’re advanced, certainly.’

‘Do you have a cryo-chamber?’

Steve looked at Bucky sharply, eyes wide. ‘Why do you want to know about that?’

Weary, Bucky smiled, an exhausted pull at the right hand corner of his lips.

‘Just covering my options, Steve.’

‘Why do you think that’s an option?’

‘Steve,’ Bucky began quietly, ‘I have to consider it.’

‘Consider what? That you’ll just ice yourself again? Bucky, you have to see that this isn’t productive.’

Bucky stared at him, as though about to argue, but he winced when his shoulder jolted and sparked at the socket. T’Challa examined him for a moment.

‘Does your arm detach, James?’

‘Bucky. And yeah, but I’m not sure if they wired it to anything or not.’ He made eye contact with Steve again. ‘After a while, they started wiping me after the upgrades. Didn’t want me to know how to get rid of it.’

He smiled thinly at Steve, who turned his focus to the exposed wiring, gazing at it with sad eyes. He looked old, Bucky thought. Every minute of his one hundred years was written upon his face, etched onto his retinas.

He reached out with his foot and kicked lightly at Steve’s shin, turning his attention back to his face. ‘You look tired.’

‘I am tired.’

T’Challa looked between the two of them for a second, and then got to his feet. ‘I’m going to speak to the pilot. Please, call me if you need anything.’

Steve looked up. ‘Thank you. Really.’

‘It was nothing. And you.’ He turned to Bucky, bowing his head for a moment. ‘I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I was misinformed.’

Bucky shook his head. ‘Nah, I don’t blame you. I’d have thought it was me, too.’

T’Challa nodded at him minutely, then turned and exited the cabin. Steve swivelled around to face Bucky.

‘Why do you want to go back into cryo?’

‘How did you know I killed the Starks?’

‘I read your file. Why do you want to go back?’

Bucky sighed. ‘Look, Steve. You don’t get it-‘

‘I don’t get what? Feeling out of time? Feeling lost? Really?’

‘No, it’s not-‘

‘Then what-‘

‘Will you shut up for a second?’

The two stared at each other again for a minute, breathing heavy. Steve’s brow was heavily furrowed, and Bucky felt the sudden urge to reach forward and smooth it out with his thumb. They sat for a second.

‘I hurt you again.’

‘That wasn’t you.’

‘So you keep saying.’

‘Well, it wasn’t. Zemo had the book, none of us knew that.’

‘Right. And now we have Zemo, but we don’t have the book.’

Steve let out a rush of air like a balloon deflated. ‘Buck, you’re safe.’

‘I was supposed to be safe – well, secure – in that giant glass box. You saw how that went.’

The jet’s engines roared for a moment, and the plane began to dip downwards. Bucky and Steve sat silent until the noise began to fade. Once it had, Bucky took a deep breath and continued.

‘Look, that book is still out there. Zemo’s out, sure, but God knows how many other people know those words. Know how to do it. I can’t run the risk of that happening again, Steve, I just can’t. It’s exhausting, waking up and not knowing if you’ve hurt anyone. If you’ve killed anyone. When I came to in that warehouse and I couldn’t see you, I didn’t remember anything but I – I thought I’d killed you.’

Bucky stopped for a minute, and peered searchingly into Steve’s eyes. ‘You, Steve.’

‘Buck,’ Steve began, ‘We can work out a way to get rid of those words – make it so you don’t react to them anymore. Tony-‘

He stopped, and Bucky huffed out a humourless laugh.

‘Right. That’s your problem. Outside of a king who's taken pity on us, the only person that might be able to even begin to understand how to solve this is half-dead. Because of us.’

Steve rubbed his face with his hands, scrubbing at his eyes.

‘I wouldn’t want him to help me anyway, Steve.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t deserve that from him. Not yet, at least.’

‘Buck, it wasn’t you.’

‘You keep saying that, but it was. I might not have had a choice, but I still had their blood under my fingernails when it was done. I wasn’t the instigator, but I was the perpetrator.’

The cabin shook for a moment as their descent continued.

‘You’re a victim, Bucky.’

‘Yeah. But I have my own as well. Victims.’ He took a breath. ‘I don’t want you to be one of them.’

  

* * *

 

 

‘Hey, Nat.’

_‘Hi. How are you feeling?’_

‘Alright. Tired. Strung out.’

_‘So. Not alright, then.’_

Steve laughed weakly into the phone. ‘I guess not.’

_‘How is he?’_

Steve paused for a moment, staring across the room to where Bucky was sitting on the edge of a plush chair, flipping through an ornate copy of War & Peace with his hand. T’Challa had allowed them use of his personal library as a place for respite, and they had found themselves spending their days in there, breaking for food and to show each other lines they liked in their books. It had been nice, but the air around them felt tense.

‘Okay, I think. Calmer. He doesn’t talk much.’

Bucky’s head cocked to the side as he called across the room. ‘But he listens, though.’

‘Alright, sorry. Anyway, how is everyone else?’

_‘Still in the offshore facility. I haven’t been able to get there yet, but I made some contact with Clint. They’re all okay. Just a little shaken. Worried about you. Tony went to see them.’_

‘Yeah?’

_‘Sam told him where he could stick it, apparently.’_

Steve laughed properly, then, and his smile felt a little less pained. Bucky looked up from his book, and stared at him warmly.

‘Sounds about right.’

_‘Has he made any decisions yet?’_

‘No. Nothing’s certain yet.’

War & Peace closed with a thud, and Bucky strode past him and out of the door. ‘You’re the only one that’s not certain, Steve.’ Steve sighed down the phone as Bucky’s footsteps faded on the marble floor of the hallway.

_‘Steve.’_

‘I can’t, Nat. I can’t let him do it.’

_‘Why not?’_

‘It feels like. Like,’ Steve struggled with the words. ‘Like going backwards.’ Nat paused for a moment, and Steve couldn’t even make out her breathing.

_‘I don’t think you’re looking at this right.’_

‘Is there a right way, Nat? He wants to freeze himself. He wants to do what they did to him for all those years.’

_‘You’re missing two things here, Steve. One. It’s his choice now – let him make decisions about his own future. Give him that. And two. This isn’t the same as before.’_

‘Why not?’

_‘Because this is selfless.’_

Steve stopped for a moment. Outside the window, he could hear birds singing, hundreds of songs at once.

‘Selfless?’

_‘This is one of the first times since he pulled you out of the Potomac that he's been able to make a choice between being a person and being the Soldier. He’s not choosing the ice because he wants to go back to being the Soldier. He’s choosing it because he doesn’t. The path of least uncertainty.’_

Steve was silent for a while, chewing on his lip and staring at the walls of books. ‘Nat.’

_‘Hmm?’_

‘I hate you when you’re right.’

There was a crackly laugh from the handset. _‘So you hate me all of the time, then?’_

They chuckled at each other for a moment, before Steve drew in a breath. ‘I have to be okay with this, don’t I?’

_‘He spent seventy years with handlers who only used him for their own selfishness. Be different. Don’t be his handler.’_

‘Be selfless?’

_‘Well, you are Captain America. Titan of morality.’_

‘Ha. We’ll see.’

_‘Let him decide for himself. He’s owed it. Bye, Steve.’_

The line went dead with a click and a buzz, and Steve dropped the phone onto the sofa beside him, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve found Bucky in T’Challa’s private botanical gardens, running a finger down a giant palm leaf on a flowering shrub. He was gazing up and around him at where the canopy of the trees met the glass roof. Steve stopped a few feet back to watch him, silently.

‘I know you’re there.’

‘Can’t creep up on an assassin.’

‘Ex. And nope.’

Steve approached him slowly, letting his eyes wander across the myriad of flowers that ran down either side of the path. 

‘Don’t you think that it sounds exactly like a rainforest should?’

Steve started. ‘Hmm?’

‘In here. It’s like they took it from one of those tapes. ‘The Sounds of Nature’, or whatever. You know?’

‘You know them?’

Bucky turned to face him, smiling gently. He looked healthier, well-rested. ‘I tried a couple of them. Turns out the goal of falling asleep is kind of hard when your body is afraid of R.E.M.’

Steve looked at him questioningly.

‘Nightmares.’

They fell into silence, and Bucky turned away. ‘But, yeah. It sounds like a tape in here.’

‘I like it.’

‘Me too.’

They listened to the insects chirping for a minute, and there was the sound a waterfall running quietly in the background. The warm spray from it misted the air.

‘Bucky.’

‘Steve.’

They turned to look at each other. ‘Do you really want this?’

Bucky shifted his weight and rolled his shoulder absent-mindedly. The short sleeve of his t-shirt hung past the metal socket, past where the remainder of the arm had been. The removal had been hard. But he looked determined. ‘I do.’

‘Okay,’ Steve began, ‘make your case.’

Bucky began to wander towards the sound of the waterfall, following the weaving path until the quiet thunder of water on water grew louder. Steve trailed behind him, hands in pockets, and studied the relaxed amble of Bucky’s pace.

They reached the waterfall, surrounded by reeds and flowers. Without warning, Bucky dropped onto the floor, sitting cross-legged facing it. Steve joined him, carefully lowering himself to his left.

After a minute, Bucky looked at him and held a palm upwards, open on his knee. Without hesitating, Steve took it.

‘I don’t want it to be permanent.’

‘Good.’

‘I want to come back here, when I wake up.’

‘I can bring a tent, if you like.’

Bucky laughed, but his eyes were soft. ‘That would be nice. If T’Challa lets us.’

They went quiet again, still holding hands.

‘I just want to keep people safe. I want to keep you safe.’

Steve chanced a look at Bucky, who was looking resiliently at the water in front of him, nodding as though for reassurance. ‘Yeah. I want to keep people safe. For once.’

‘I can keep looking for the book. Sam will help. He’s become a bit of a spy.’

Bucky smiled mischievously. ‘He doesn’t like me.’

‘He does. You just wind him up.’

Bucky laughed for a minute, then stopped and schooled his face into something more serious. ‘I do wanna wake up, though. Steve.’ Bucky sought his eyes out this time, Steve noted. ‘But I wanna wake up when I can be sure that I won’t hurt people. I’m tired of death.’

‘Me too.’

‘So, I’m choosing life. Just… in a little while.’

‘In a little while,’ Steve echoed.

He looked down at their hands, where Bucky’s thumb had been subconsciously rubbing itself across his fingers. He smiled.

‘In a little while is good.’

 

* * *

 

 

As Bucky laid himself back against the upright bed of the cryo-chamber, Steve couldn’t help but notice how calm he was. The bottom of the glass began to raise, and Bucky turned to face him, smiling gently.

‘See you in a while.’

The glass frosted over, and the steady beep of the ECG monitor started up. Steve listened to it for a minute or two, counting the beats, then he picked up his phone and hit on the most recent call.

_‘Hi. It’s done?’_

‘Yeah.' Steve paused. 'Say, Nat, have you ever broken into an underwater jail?’

_‘I thought you’d never ask.’_

As Steve walked from the room, he threw a look back to the chamber. Bucky looked like he was sleeping.

‘We’ve got work to do.’

**Author's Note:**

> The title is the title of a song called Mercury by Sleeping at Last, which might be the most Bucky/Stucky song ever.  
> Pls be kind.


End file.
